Throughout my Recovery process, it’s been important for me to heal – not just physically but emotionally as well.  My cancer had taken me on the most difficult journey and guiding myself back together after almost a year of disruption has been a difficult part of the process.  

Part of my healing, as you may remember, has been through art.  Rediscovering and refining this passion has brought me closer to understanding my true emotions and thoughts.  It’s not easy to recognize on a day-to-day basis what we may really need to support our well-being or to even say it out loud (especially with so much going on with treatments, appointments, work, etc) but being able to share those feelings through a different mode has helped my recovery so much.

A few months ago I attended a creative, hands-on seminar called the Tree of Life Fulfillment Workshop and it was hosted by the cancer center I frequent for assistance.  It was introduced to me as a unique opportunity that combined mindfulness and art. It definitely sounded like something I would be interested in… but I had some hesitation. At that time, I was completing my radiation treatments and didn’t know what to really expect, especially in a new environment with all new faces.  That aspect was a bit unnerving for me. But I wanted so much to be open to trying something new – to say yes to an experience outside of my comfort zone.

I signed up.

When walking into a new environment it’s normal to feel uneasy and apprehensive.  I was sitting in a room with strangers, yet somehow knowing that we all were there for a similar reason, to learn, to heal, with our own stories to tell, helped ease my anxious mind.  

As we started our session, we closed our eyes.  I never gave much thought about my connection to nature or that I even had one.  Being guided through my feelings, experiences, current state of mind, using the image of a tree to describe it all was such a new enlightening concept for me.  I remember concentrating on what my tree would look like…What color would she be? Does she have leaves and a rough bark? Will she grow flowers in the Spring or Be bare in the Winter? Each element having its own meaning, describing who I am and what I feel.

my tree. in the center of the small, intimate room were large tables with flowers, art supplies and notebooks, and those familiar items instantly sparked the happy art-girl in me.

In that moment, I learned to let go of my preconceived notions and anxiousness about what I’ve been going through and how I’m supposed to feel.  Just taking the time to breathe was what I really needed. Hearing each participant’s story and seeing what they had created made me realize how unique and strong we all are.  We each had a personal journey to share and although we had just met, we were all connected and supported one another.

I’m so glad I attended.  

I believe participating in this workshop has helped me acknowledge some of my emotions that’s been hiding under the surface since my diagnosis. I still use these exercises as a way to see through my anxious thoughts and I can visualize what I want my future-self to look like as a tree (see pic below).  She will be strong, full of life, positive energy and still growing. I had never taken a mindfulness class before this but understanding the need to take a moment for ourselves, to steady our busy minds is something I can really appreciate.

I still think about my tree when I need a moment to myself, a moment to breathe and reboot… sometimes she grows a little, sometimes she even changes colors and shapes… giving me a mental break from the chaos around me, to concentrate on myself and my Recovery.