I took a little hiatus from writing in November.  I needed some time for myself, to not only decompress but to understand what my new self is all about.  My everyday life has been somewhat routine, with going to work full-time and follow-up appointments with all my docs.  Yet, I’m in the process of reintroducing myself to my world and coming to terms with my new place in it. 

However, I do have an important update: on November 16 I got my first haircut! Yaasss!  It was great to finally be able to do something with this mini-bush on my head. I still can’t believe how quickly my hair has been growing.

before / after

It was getting a bit too wild for my taste.. and taming those ‘burns where the toughest. Lol. But with the help of my lovely friend and hair-magician, my hair is now trimmed, styled, and ready for more growth.

I love that I’m able to style it with some pomade and walk out of the apartment. And drumroll… I wore my hair to work, my real, no-cover, no-wiggy, true-color, soft-baby-hair, HAIR.  And it was liberating.  Although I’ve worn it ‘as-is’ grocery shopping and errand-running, work has always been intimidating, a mental hurdle for me to overcome. I spend so much time with those individuals, and yet, it gave me so much anxiety to share this very personal part of myself.

It’s hard for me to explain my thought process… to explain how I got from the point of anxiousness to  fuck it, I’m doing it! I can somehow convince/ talk myself through those scared, negative thoughts in my head. Don’t get me wrong, I was still terrified as I drove into the parking structure and as I sat in the staff shuttle. But in the end, it was okay.. great even. All the happy faces and positive reactions helped ease my anxious mind and I knew I made the right decision. 

My hair feels like MINE once again. Being able to have it trimmed meant more to me than just a haircut, it was a next step in my survivorship, my reboot. Patrice 2.0. It’s another means to my own decision making, a positive step in this new direction.

ps. Do people still use the term “2.0?”