Mood: strangely excited; awaiting the next step

I began my treatment plan in February so uncertain of what to expect and afraid of the outcome that could follow.  Neoadjuvant chemotherapy was the first step of my plan – the goal being to shrink my ER+ tumor for a better surgical outcome.  I am happy to report that the chemotherapy worked it’s poisonous magic. (that sounded depressing lol).  After another MRI following my fourth treatment, my doctors were extremely happy to report that there was no residual mass on my images.  This was the best news. Those images showing the tumor had shrunk that much really made me realize that enduring those few months of chemotherapy and it’s many many side effects was worth it.

My fourth cycle seemed to be the most difficult to get through, I was feeling more weak than usual and the side effects were harder to shake off.  I was tired and just wanted to stop treatments all together. When you’re in the mix of things – infusions, tests, appointments – it’s hard to grasp the next steps, to see the bigger picture. I was in a funk.  Getting this news before starting my fifth treatment gave me a much needed push to keep going. I somehow found the courage and strength to power through and now I’m writing having just completed my sixth and final chemo treatment.

I’m not sure if everyone read that correctly… I COMPLETED MY LAST CHEMOTHERAPY SESSION! Yaaaassss!  It’s been about 4 months since I started my chemo treatments but I feel like I’ve been doing this forever.  Saying those words out loud and writing them here gives me so much happiness and satisfaction. And now I just have about 2 weeks to complete this last cycle, being sure the chemo drugs take it course and do it thang.  I’m guessing this will probably be the longest 2 weeks because of what the end of my last chemo cycle will mean: alcohol, caffeine, raw fish/sushi, mushrooms, thai food WITH bean sprouts! Your homegirl needs a drink or two or three!

Funny story: I met with my oncologist during my last infusion and my first and most important question:  When can I eat raw fish and drink again? (yes, your girl has her priorities straight!) She said 3 weeks to finish the cycle.  So here I am, 1 week down.. I’m already planning my celebration/ sushi feast 🙂

In about a month or so I’ll be on moving on to the next step of my story.. surgery, but completing the chemotherapy part of my treatment plan was a much bigger step than I had originally envisioned.  I didn’t realize the physical and emotional effects that would take hold of me during these past few months, yet somehow in the end, I feel like I’ve grown a little throughout this process.  A lot of that growth is due to my unbelievable and growing support (my hubby, family, friends, co-workers, medical team) — thank you.  Thank you for keeping me laughing, nourished, and above all else, strong.