Mood: Scared and Uncertain

The weeks and days leading up to my first treatment was filled with many questions and as you can imagine, the answers were overwhelming.  I had no idea what to expect.. Will it hurt? How will my body react? Should I eat this or that? Will I have an appetite? Will my hair fall out?

My first chemo treatment started at 8am on a Wednesday in late February.  I barely got any sleep the night before – those questions flooded my brain and I was honestly terrified of the next morning.  After checking in at the infusion center, I was quickly brought to one of the infusion rooms where they took my vitals and tried their best to locate my lucky vein for the day.  I have very difficult veins so this took a bit of time.

Once they received the results of my blood-work, I was ready to begin my pre-meds: Benadryl, anti-nausea, steroids… sounds like a party right?  Drowsy from the Benadryl, I fell asleep for quite a while, even with my cold cap being changed every 30 minutes. That’s some strong meds! There was a point where I was so tired, I could barely open my eyes or keep my head upright for my therapist to change my cap.  My husband had to help hold my cap in place while she molded the frozen packs around my head.

My infusion went by faster than expected.  I was told to drink lots of water to flush out the toxins, but when you’re half awake, drinking water can be quite difficult.  My husband stayed by my side the entire time and even through the extra 4 hours of cold caps after my infusion. He’s so awesome.

I opted for the Neulasta OnPro body injector as opposed to returning to the infusion center for my white blood cell booster shot the following day.  This little device is stuck to your body and timed to release the Neulasta 27 hours after the infusion was complete. There’s a lot of beeping involved and lights to lookout for, but otherwise I didn’t mind it.  Living in LA, any reason to not drive in traffic is worth trying.

The day following my infusion, I felt great.  It was probably the steroids but I didn’t feel any different.  However, the days after.. Not so much. The first side effect to hit me was the bone pain — my doctor had told me the Neulasta could cause this.  At first, the pain was manageable and felt like period body aches, but it progressively worsened. It’s difficult to describe; I felt so uncomfortable – I squirmed trying to find a good position, tossed and turned.  This lasted for about four days before the pain started to dissipate.

I luckily didn’t experience nausea or mouth sores and was able to eat normally.  This was definitely a positive for me!

By the last week of my first cycle, I thought I was home free.  My side effects had subsided, I returned to work and felt as normal as I could in that moment.  However, my body was still fighting. I noticed small red bumps on my forearms one morning and they were so itchy.  Thinking this was somehow a food allergy, I took an antihistamine. A few hours later the rash went away. Later in the day, my neck started itching – the rash had returned, not only on my neck, but on my arms, chest, and belly.  I took another antihistamine and applied a topical itch cream and went to bed. It was a huge shock to see myself the next morning – my entire arm was covered with a rash, this was probably the most visually shocking side effect I experienced.  I immediately emailed my oncologist photos and she prescribed a steroid which I took over the following week. I was happy to see that after a few days, the rash went away completely. This was such a scary moment for me since it wasn’t something I was expecting.  

My first cycle provided a glimpse into what I could expect of my next five treatments.  I know it will be a difficult journey ahead but I feel better prepared knowing how my body will react to the chemo and I will hopefully not have too many surprises.  Now, onto the next cycle…